The Deepest Pain

The deepest pain is the unnatural — pain from problems of man. Problems of a selfish and lonely man — Lost and desperate. He tried to get rid of the pain; but, despite his effort, inflicted more into this world.

How can such a man exist? Are there no reasonable options? Were there none to hear the whispers? So far from life he had to shout to be heard? So many questions. None of which matter. The only thing, at the moment, that shall resonate with me is the imbalance of it all.

Unnatural and painful is this tragedy. The tragedy of a man, lost. Choosing violence as his way out, opened fire in a dark theatre. An intimate and cozy moment between lovers torn a million ways. Pieces of soul and mind split apart by the shock of it all. Like a View Master Reel, first, an image of ordinary content. Then click, flashes and her limp body in his helpless hands.

Death does not inspire me with words but fill blank spaces with questions and confusion that can never be understood. Only God can show its meaning….in time.

ReFLEXion: Living in the Moment

I have trouble seeing the moment sometimes. My weakness is letting myself run so far ahead that I get overwhelmed with all of my ideas and intentions instead of following them as they are supposed to be. My patience wears thin and I have a million daily impulses to just give up.

I either look to far ahead or too close. It’s hard to see the beauty in something when you are looking at the thin black lines that create its detail for so long. It’s nice to take a step back and observe from the eye of the onlooker. To objectively seek it’s purpose from a distance far enough to see the whole picture.

Fluctuating from these extremes, I learn to appreciate moments, even if it is hard for me to live in them.

A Story Known Too Well

She saw him as confident and strong-willed. He knew they were different but it was the very reason he loved her. Despite his effort to stay away, he would always find his way back into her life. He knew she would easily let him back in. He took advantage of her love until she could not take the pain. He desperately tried to hang on but she wouldn’t budge. She loved him but it wasn’t enough.

He realized it was over. Still, at this discovery, it was the hardest goodbye. Full of life revelations. She finally saw him cry.

Bittersweet. Bitter from anxiety and sadness — a mixture of salty wetness. Sweet like the anticipation of a forbidden fruit.

The feeling of anticipation at the moment of release felt like butterflies fluttering inside. They reminded her that nothing stays the same — good things were coming. Finally opened her eyes. You have to let them go for butterflies to fly.

ReFLEXion: Spirituality and Mankind

Spirituality was here before written word. It will be here long after us. I believe in the evolution of man’s progression. Not just of intelligence but in history itself. A man is more than his memories. He has been imprinted on this Earth long before his mother imagined him.

God makes man’s potential a choice. In order to reach his purpose, he must always reach. If you resist change, you will resist God’s image. His vision will be clouded over by followers that benefit from his authority. Always listen to yourself because he lives in you! Listen to your heart. Your destiny and mankind depends upon it.

ReFLEXion: Assumptions

• Pay attention to your assumptions: do they have a positive or negative connotation? Do you tend to assume the worst or the best?
• The biggest misinterpretation is made by mistaking silence responses by others for opposition.
• Assumptions about other people is not truth. It’s speculation of reality based on anger, fear, jealousy, ext.
• Don’t make assumptions against yourself.
• If we create our own perceptions, do assumptions predict our future?
• Don’t assume the worst. Speak good things into your life. Make sure its positive affirmations.

ReFLEXion: Accelerate or Excel?

We are consumed with notions ‘faster is better’ or ‘convenience open doors to straight and narrow paths’.  However, wrong priorities produce surface levels of greatness. Nothing can be excellent if it fades before momentum to excel. It would be great, only for a memory, never to be forgotten; if only to capture it’s short-lived beauty. If continuous pushing precedes, options proceed; and eventually, you will hit greatness. If you learn from your mistakes, excellence will be the point-of-destination.

ReFLEXion: Trial and Error

Anything can be examined and any decision in life will have trial and error. It’s the trial and errors that shape your true self, don’t you think? The only constant in your life is your decision to learn as your go — your choices. Everything else changes as you change or with a situation that takes shape in your life. Any opinion or idea about something can be examined from several different angles brought to your attention by others or by the trials in your life.

Death of the True Romantic

Modern Romance

Romance is defined in the dictionary as a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. If we break this definition down, society’s idea of romance is different from its true meaning. “A feeling of excitement” can be rephrased as ‘a reaction of eagerness’. Have you felt an impulse to gravitate towards someone at first glance? As magical as the idealistic outcome would be, is this considered romance? It’s more along the line of fascination or seduction. The with in “Mystery associated with love.” associates romance with an act towards the abstract idea of love.

In its modernized form, the connotations of romance is the instant arousal and projected possibilities. This insinuates romance fades — a serious misconception. With time, romance doesn’t lose it’s color; it transforms.  Unfortunately, this definition is reality today — a microwave instant meal and not the simmering slow cook that concentrates the juices.

Romance should be the recurring action of someone’s thoughts and energy going towards the happiness of the person they love and admire. An act of growing love and not the act of capturing it. The modern concept of romance is obscured and distorted into an impulsive passionate expression of desire.

Are we really so fast-paced and self-absorbed we distort a beautiful concept to fit our social views? Here are four things that kill the true romantic: the entertainment industry, the internet, liberation, and marriage for the wrong reasons.

Entertainment Industry

America’s entertainment industry is one of the largest worldwide; it represents a third of the global industry. A direct reflection of our country’s priorities focusing more on the pleasures than the politics. Our country is a teenager with a huge entitlement problem — no work and all play. To the average american the daily life of a Kardashian is more important and familiar than the names of the politicians running our country and the decisions made that effect us directly.

Americans view celebrities as idols. Their lives are analyzed and mimicked because of society’s desperation for guidance. This creates standards no human could live up to. They influence the minds of the majority letting it be socially acceptable to express themselves by their urges. Celebrities break up and get together loosely and often times dramatically showing no respect or maturity. These are influential people; yet, they hold no accountability for their actions.

Movies are written to show only the first act of a relationship causing unrealistic expectations for long-term ones. Characters in movies are seen as real people. People lose sight of reality.

Internet 

The internet has vast sources of knowledge and connections never fathomed even a few decades ago. Our lives globalized creating infinite possibilities. But with this comes a choice — utilize the internet to better your reality or create an alternate one.

Face-to-face communication is more personable but less desirable. People post their lives on social networks leaving a very small window of time for mystery. You become the creator of an imaginary world and finding people to accept your reality is easy because they all want and seek the same thing. We live in a world of the now —always wanting instant gratification and validation. Internet makes it easy to find attention and approval. People don’t know or listen to their heart so they follow other people.

Liberation

We are a liberating generation — gender, sexual, racial. . ext.

Sexual liberation kills the romantic by desensitizing sex. It no longer means commitment or connection but the act of “expressing” oneself. Sexual liberation desensitize desire for your partner by making it easy to look elsewhere (with the help of the internet). Always either longing for something better or always feeling inadequate.

We want liberation as professional individuals. Ironically, most people want their individuality but are constantly seeking others to pattern their lives around. Having a career is directly associated with being “independent” or “strong,” but neither should be defined by your career.

Commitment is looked at as repression. A relationship title defines them, and therefore, limits their identity. The loose terms of commitment creates an undefined establishment of a relationship that leads to insecurities. It creates jealously and envy that put negative vibes toward a potentially happy relationship.

Love for the wrong reasons

People are obsessed with being real but aren’t in touch with reality. Romanticizing is imagining an ideal scenario; but it’s up to you to create your desires. By denying the possibility of more, you cut out the option all together. We seek love and affection but you can’t feel something fabricated from delusions.

Commitment is casual. Marriage is losing its value. Wedding costs rose 3000% since the 1950s. People are getting married for the wedding and not have a wedding for the marriage. We’ve gotten away from it’s true meaning. People prioritize accumulating possessions over intimacy.

People love selfishly but loving someone is putting that person above you. No relationship or marriage comes without conflicts; it’s how those conflicts are handled that define them. How can you expect the romance to last and your love to grow if you never think of the other person? Nourish each others needs. A relationship takes thoughtfulness. Seeking attention in a relationship can relinquish the need for it elsewhere.

Have realistic expectations. It’s not that romance fades it’s that your perception of bright and colorful pieces become a mosaic. Take a step back and see its beauty. Go back to the basics. Take time to learn a persons complexities. But for the most part, it’s the simple gesture that keeps the true romantic alive.

ReFLEXion — Trust

Trust can be a beautiful thing if not abused. It’s the fuel for your life journey. It can give you the freedom of individuality in a mature relationship. And when life drips into one of its valleys, trusting that hill will always rise again can make the journey an enjoyable uphill challenge. After all, life is about the journey, not the destination. If you enter doubt anything, trust can always be the hope that guides you. If it’s not scary sometimes to trust then you’ve allowed yourself to not care. And if you don’t care, that journey is over. So always remember to reach for things that matter.

Affirmations to Speak into Your Life

Be true to yourself

Always remember to be true to yourself. You can’t expect to be at a satisfying place in your life if you are following the mainstream lives of others. Do what is best for your own life. YOU know what YOU want. You have the power to connect the contents in your life. You have the choice of what is worth your time and what is a waste.

Look for good intentions

Always to be aware of people’s motives and intentions because they may be different from your own. Look for genuine characteristics and compromising attitudes. Relationships are give and take; stay away from selfishness. Selfishness in others only leads to questioning your actions. If you understand your intentions for actions no one should make you question them.

Love yourself

To truly be happy is to love yourself. To love yourself, you must always choose things you want in life, things that build you up, things that you believe in. Always use opportunities of self-doubt to reflect why you are doubtful; you almost always have the answer. Growth is one hundred percent YOUR pursuance.