What doesn’t kill us…

…makes us stronger. But what’s the in-between?

Recently escaping the shackles of past traumas, I found myself quite curious about answers to why we are defined by our hard times. Why do our lowest points become the catalysts that help us reach our highest points?

Most of the time, when we ignore our potential, it’s because we lack the confidence to throw ourselves into the unknown. Minimal chance-takers focussed on blending in. We focus a lot of our energy analyzing our unhappy state but still lack the discipline to walk towards our destiny.

Just the day-to-day mind ping-pong can leave you bruised and bent. Adding traumatic events can completely knock you out of range on your psychological radar. You get thrown in an ocean of perplexed emotions. Once you go under, you forget which way is up and which is down. Your mind, body, and soul are separated and it takes time to find each other again. The ocean leaves you feeling disoriented and numb.

This confusion, for me, left a void in my life. I lacked the confidence to try anything. I saw myself as a hopeless victim bound to end some tragic way. I had intrusive thoughts of dying young. The mind can play tricks on you when separated from your soul.

Traumas are the initial “life endurance test.” If it doesn’t kill you on impact don’t get too comfortable — there might be some internal bleeding.

You still have a long road ahead. It takes time to process traumatic events especially when your mind is trying to repress them. Sometimes leaving yourself to deal with them much later in life.

When you repress your emotions you are telling your body to “hold back.” This is where you completely lose your momentum in life. You have no direction because you aren’t moving.

Traumas surface as pain and guilt, and eventually, turn into anger — a loaded gun ready to fire at the slightest motion.  You can easily slip into a depression as your way of coping — your body’s way of trying to repress the traumas again. But it doesn’t work that way. You continue to unravel until faced with the choice of life or death.

The in-between from this moment to the moment of empowerment is a grey area. It totally depends on you. You could let your traumas define and destroy the rest of your life by allowing yourself to spiral downhill or you can choose to overcome them. It’s how we process and deal with these traumas that determined how our lives are altered. The uncontrollable circumstances don’t define us. It’s how you respond to them.

I guess, for me, I could feel death’s presence so close I could taste it. I never felt worthy of living. Lies that had a hold on me for long enough. I looked within and realized my potential. I started to see my pain was my power. It was going to be the driving force keeping me moving toward my destiny.

Why blend in when you were made to stand out? Your uniqueness is the reason you are here on this Earth. The universe has ways to shake and roll us back to our true paths. Along the way you find yourself, in the middle of mud and mirror mazes, on a confusing path toward self-discovery. It’s the mud that gives you resistance and strength. And the mazes of mirrors that lead you to self-reflection — the mirrors that show you who you are and who you can become.

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4 thoughts on “What doesn’t kill us…

  1. Becca, this so very well written and thought-provoking. I’m still trying figure out how to deal with the many traumas in my life that I often question why I was put here on Earth. It seems I merely exist — day after day, year after year. You’ve put into words what I could never seem to articulate in my own head. Four stars!

    1. Thanks for the support! I appreciate it. My writing is my journey. When I hear someone say they can relate or benefit from my words, it makes me feel like I am here for a purpose. Those moments gratify my existence. I am glad that you were touched!

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