How to Control Life’s Uncontrollable Circumstances

Everyone is faced with situations out of their control. Some situations can raise self-doubt; and they definitely shape our journeys. It’s ultimately the choices we make in our lives because of these situations that give direction to our journeys. Whenever faced with a choice, remember to think of a positive future. You can’t help the outcome of uncontrollable situations, but you can control how you perceive them which can ultimately control the direction your life goes from them.

If you accept the things you can’t change, you can better make choices that will not be self-destructive to your journey. Life is about learning, even from situations that aren’t from your mistakes. It’s about harnessing positive energy and visually forming it into a positive outcome. Life is about the want to live; and determination is a large part in following your dreams.

My life was complete chaos up until recently. What’s crazy is from an outside perspective it looked like a normal life. It was a normal life. I’d just graduated college. My world was mine for the making. I just had to grab it and take charge; but I didn’t. I was without direction wandering aimlessly through a set of routine motions: wake up, brush teeth, get dressed, cross fingers on one hand while searching for a full-time job, cross fingers on the other for something I would actually like.

I didn’t realize my life was chaotic until I found myself, a little down the road, in what should have been the happiest moments of life; but something was preventing me from fully feeling them. I felt emotionally stinted. I was happy. I was surrounded by people who loved me. But somehow, I found myself in a deep-rooted two-year depression and it took me that long to even come to this conclusion.

How does a person have a two-year depression right after graduating college, getting married and having a baby? These are supposed to be the happiest times of my life! And they were. They were truly happy times. So WHY and HOW was I so depressed?

I asked myself these questions and really thought about them. What was I doing with my life?

The answer hit me hard and suddenly. It knocked me literally to the ground. I started violently crying. Being extremely out of the ordinary, my husband was seriously concerned. I finally understood though. Because I understood, I knew things were going to change. I was going to be okay. These tears were tears of happiness.

Traumas in my past prevented me from experiencing present joys. I was so shut off from extreme pain that I wasn’t able to experience extreme happiness. My body was literally going through motions. I found myself knowing how I should feel but having a difficult time letting myself feel them. The feeling of emotions actually gave me anxiety and that was what put me deeper into my depression.

People let traumatic experiences mutilate their physical, emotional, and psychological self-images. It leads to negativity and wrong choices. This doesn’t mean you are weak. It means you are human. The good news is it just takes one simple spark in you to realize this. No one needs to feel this way. If you make a wrong turn just remember to make the right one the next time you travel down the same path. Life has a way of making small or large circles that ultimately intertwine. Your destiny will always make a circle and find it’s right path once you are willing to find it. You are more in charge of your life than you think. It’s about attitude and perception. As soon as you realize this the following steps are easy.

You have to be seriously messed up for the JOYS in your life to be the reason you are depressed, right? Wrong. It’s actually simple; startling but true. It’s not the JOYS that are making you depressed but other experiences in your past life that make you unable to experience the joys. This probably happens to more people then realized because it’s not something you are aware of. You know something isn’t right but it’s not something you understand the complete extent of until you are looking at it from the outside in.

It’s as simple as making a negative choice because of a negative or painful outcome of a situation. I made choices in my life from past experiences because of fear and pain that not only instantly closed myself up to certain things but also slowly clouded myself up to all possibilities not just the ones that I feared.

Determination is a powerful thing. You can make decisions because of hurt or fear or pain and once the hurt or fear or pain eases, that decision you made will still hinder your life.

Some of these choices I made were from situations and traumas that were uncontrollable. These choices, I guess, made me feel like I could shut this part of my life up and pretend they didn’t exist but that’s not how our bodies work. We hold on to things if they aren’t resolved in our lives. They are stored in our bodies and cause physical, emotional, and psychological issues that cause bodily illness, mental illness, and emotional damage.

Some of these choices were based on fears and pain that I’d experienced. These hindered me worse because I willingly told myself to avoid these risks at all costs. But risks have rewards and I denied myself being able to fully appreciate the rewards in my life.

I felt empty even when I knew that I had a full life. We can only move forward if we release these things that hold us down. Realizing the problem and deciding to change is all I needed to do. We can only move forward if we release these things that hold us down. And I cried because I finally released the chains. I cried because I was so happy. It was over.

A person’s life is one journey no matter how many bumps, curves and turns along the way. It may seem never-ending but we all die in the end. You are alive; but are you living? Not in a sense of world worth but in a sense of self-worth. Uncontrollable situations come in our lives to test what choices we make. You can’t control the situation but you can control the outcome by simply choosing to be happy. Happiness comes from within. And until you love yourself, you can never fully be happy.


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